On my walk to the campus each day, I tried to take it all in. The way it looks without students, the sounds of the bushes being clipped, the sticky breeze that is the south...I tried to attend to all my senses as I sorted through the emotions of the day. I wanted to stay in the moment, and pull everything I could from it. And I won't say I always felt the same way about the meetings, as I don't sit still very well, but I did try!
I really connected with this place in the process - I have found it to be very friendly, warm, and welcoming. A place where people go out of their way to make you feel a part of the group. Nobody will simply leave you alone, or allow you stand alone in a corner. Even the students seem to recognize instantly that I am new and ask for introductions! Some have already figured out who I am (I had forgotten my picture is already published) and have called me by name. There is so much pride in the school, such a strong identity, that I can't help but be pulled along. I also have the sense that I need to live up to those expectations, which continues to make the process of beginning the first page of a new job a little more unnerving!
I won't be Pollyanna and talk about the wonderful world of higher education. Let's be real and accept that this is a rough time to start out at this level (or any education level at all), with expectations high, pay low, and some political problems that make K-12 public school teaching look tempting again. The pressures are real, the problems are deep, and changes need to be made. And it may be my job to figure out how to be a part of the solution and not get caught up in the whirling waters of dissent and negativity. Yet, I get the feeling this is a 'scrappy' place when it comes to toughing it out. And I mean that as a compliment! At least, that is my sense at the beginning of things - the message is this: Yes, things are bad. Yes, they have gotten worse. But we have students to teach, and a new generation to help...and that is what we must do, by hook or by crook.
It makes me sad that education is still struggling, but I love that sense of digging into the problems that face us and not walking away. Not giving up or giving in. Standing tall against the voices of craziness that I hear all too often. I felt a sense of solidarity, of a group of people who may agree to disagree, but can actually find common ground to solve problems. Problems that are never simple to fix, but complex and difficult. Not in a manner that is perfect, nor pretty, but messy, ugly, and bumpy, where difficult moments lead to solutions and a better future.
So this is how I can be optimistic about such a difficult time - I am in a great place. I can be thrilled to be doing what I love to do - teaching music to others - and revel in the bone-weary exhaustion that sometimes comes in doing a job well. I almost need to pinch myself - I was teaching high school band in Indiana only 5 years ago - and here I am, living something that I often thought was just a dream! The butterflies in my stomach grow daily and I can't wait to actually meet all the students and start the good work and fight the good fight. The first page of the experience here has been written...and I can't wait to write the next!
